“Through the events in our lives, good and bad, we learn who we are and what makes us tick. It’s not about creating happily ever after—it’s about taking it one step at a time and accepting that we’ll go through times when we won’t feel happy.” ~C. De Lima
One thing I try to say through my writing, despite them being psychological thrillers, is to tell women that it’s okay to not be strong all the time. Bad things will happen to you, but it’s all right. You’ll be fine. Even though we’re expected to hold our stuff together, I’m telling you that you don’t have to be composed all the time. I never have myself perfectly collected and that’s okay. Why? Because I used to think I had to be the perfect daughter, granddaughter, and friend. There were so many pressures put on me as a girl and a woman. I know there are more pressures today more than ever as our lives get busier as adults. It can be overwhelming, driving you to tears. It took me a long time to realize that if I cry for no reason or because I feel beaten down, it’s fine. It doesn’t make you or I less of a woman or weak.
Growing up, people around me used to tell me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get myself together. It’s not always that simple. Sometimes we just need to feel sad, angry, hurt, and/or all those emotions so we can work out what’s bothering us. Let yourself feel these things. Just because we cry or feel a little deeper doesn’t make us less strong, just human. Always remember you are a beautiful, wonderful woman. You don’t have to be perfect. I love you for who you are. Remember the old adage: what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.